Your relationship may have developed one of the marriage problems that afflict many couples. These marriage problems can gradually destroy your relationship unless you spot them and intervene appropriately. In this section, you can read about what to look for as well as some things you can do about them in addition to marriage counseling. An integrity checklist is also available [...]
Marriage counseling and couples counseling have been specialties of Cary Counseling Center for Raleigh, Cary, Apex, Morrisville and Holly Springs for nearly 30 years. In addition, our therapists are also exceptionally trained for individual psychotherapy, treatment of PTSD, family counseling and play therapy for children.
As seen on WRAL-TV in Raleigh:
You can learn a lot even before coming to counseling. If you read the following three chapters by Dr. Kaye you will see how our neuroscience-based counseling is a better approach:
Our therapists emphasize goal-focused strategic counseling for both individual therapy and marriage counseling. It’s NOT the passive “listening” therapy that takes years to produce results. Our strategic counseling has several characteristics that make it especially effective:
Careful Assessment – The strategy for marriage counseling is tailored to each couple. One size doesn’t fit all. Social history, old traumas, schemas, behavioral patterns, level of dissociation, inhibition of meta-motivational states and parental templates are all assessed to find out where to focus the counseling. Marriage counseling that focuses on communication is really only dealing with surface issues. Communication breaks down because of subtle emotions in the unconscious. When those emotions are better managed, communication opens up because the person can think differently. Even subtle emotions can change how the brain operates. It’s important to determine which emotions are sabotaging communication so that they can be reconditioned.
Clear Goals – Goals are negotiated at the beginning so that all parties can agree on what’s realistic and what’s not. Progress toward the goals is reviewed regularly so that everyone can be held accountable to stay on task.
Active Intervention – The therapist teaches, confronts, models, challenges clients to practice different behavior both in and between sessions. The emphasis is on training each partner to practice the behavior and thoughts that will change emotions over time. Our most intensive interventions are week long nautical marriage retreats with marriage counseling by Dr. Bryce Kaye and his wife Helen. These couples counseling retreats are totally private and involve only one couple at a time sailing to different port towns on the rivers and sounds of North Carolina. Read more about these Love Odyssey marriage counseling retreats.
A Faster Cutting-Edge Approach – Cary Counseling Center has developed a new therapy for individuals that has shown amazing results. We call it “HRG” and it’s common for a client to experience profound relief from a trauma memory in a single session. HRG is a blend of techniques taken from neuroscience research. At its core, HRG utilizes the new science of memory reconsolidation which shows how fear and pain can be stripped from memory. You can Google the term “memory reconsolidation” for more information.
We have observed HRG to give profound relief for the following kinds of problems:
PTSD, history of physical or sexual abuse, combat trauma, motor vehicle accidents, partner betrayals, witnessing a death, etc.
Fear of driving, fear of flying, fear of water, etc.
These are unconscious rules that keep a person repeating self-defeating behaviors. They are trained into a person during childhood. Some examples:
” If I ask for what I want…..then I will be ignored or hurt, so I must always earn it by pleasing others first.”
” If I negotiate for what I want…..then I’m selfish and bad, so I must always sacrifice for others above myself.”
” If I don’t do something perfectly…..then I’m lazy and no good, so I must always do it perfectly.”
” If someone is upset with me…..then I’m doing something wrong, so I must always make sure others are happy with me all the time.”
” If I let myself really enjoy something…..then it will be taken away from me and I will be hurt, so I must always work and stay responsible all the time.”
If you are interested in HRG then call 919 467 1180 and ask for Dr. Kaye to return your call. You can also read our very technical paper about the neuroscience behind HRG.