Psychologists & Psychotherapy for Cary, Apex, Morrisville, & Raleigh NC
Psychologist Dr. Bryce Kaye
To schedule an appointment call Cary Counseling Center at 919 467 1180
In an old Greek myth, a host named Procrustes had a peculiar fetish for making his guests fit their bed at night. Instead of trying to "fit" a person’s needs into one school of psychotherapy. As a psychologist, I do my best to make sure my therapeutic approach fits a person’s needs. While my techniques are varied, my style does lean in one direction. I have a reputation for being extremely active and direct in the form of an "active advocacy". Many clients have found themselves dissatisfied with prior psychologists and therapists who have merely been passive and emotionally supportive. My style is more ambitious. The first thing I do is to help the person clarify goals and get an agreement about what we are trying to accomplish. From then on, I direct focus and energy toward whatever will be most helpful toward reaching those goals. Very often, a person’s history is relevant in understanding how certain emotions or beliefs became conditioned to their current state. However, I find that insight and understanding alone are usually insufficient to produce most emotional changes. To bring about changes in emotion or emotionally determined behavior, a well-designed plan of intervention is necessary. When I make recommendations for a course of intervention, I always explain the principles of psychology and emotion behind it.
As a psychologist, I do a fair amount of personalized teaching. One way that I do rely on insight is to teach a person how to influence their emotions. Our emotions follow a somewhat different set of rules than ordinary behavior. Usually, we can immediately choose how we want to behave. With emotions, we can’t. Our feelings are learned in a different way than what we think of as ordinary learning. We learn to feel certain ways through either powerful or repetitive emotional experience. The technical term is called "conditioning." My style as a therapist has been influenced by my years of study of psychophysiology and how emotions are “conditioned.” My theoretical orientation incorporates Russian research on perception and conditioned reflexes as well as western research on the brain circuitry of attention, perception, emotions and learning. I have found that while our emotional conditioning can’t be immediately changed, it can be gradually altered if we learn to use the correct tools. In very effective therapy, these tools are employed and people make dramatic changes in their feelings. So the paradox is this: feelings can be changed but you just need to learn some new rules about how to influence them without trying to control them.
The following are some of the kinds of psychotherapy that I do. Click on any topic for a more in-depth description of how I approach it.
Marriage counseling and relationship therapy (Click Here)
Adjustment counseling & stress management (Click Here)
Healing emotional wounds (trauma resolution) (Click Here)
Raising self-esteem and reducing self-defeating shame (Click Here)
Anger management & assertiveness training (Click Here)
Reciprocal Suppression in the Anterior Cingulate Cortex - A very technical article about the probable underlying neurology of EMDR psychotherapy
Conflict Inoculation - A technical article being written about a new type of treatment for rage behavior or conflict avoidance
Captain Bryce Kaye is a U.S. Coast Guard licensed merchant marine officer with a masters level certification. In addition to his work at Cary Counseling Center, read about Dr. Kaye's unique service that offers a highly personalized marriage counseling cruise. You and your partner are coached by Dr. Kaye on how to overcome marriage problems and improve your relationship while you sail to lovely destinations on the rivers and sounds of North Carolina.
Dr. Kaye, author of The Marriage First Aid Kit, discusses some important truths about relationships (Parts 1 and 2)
The following chapters from Dr. Kaye's book can give you some good ideas about how to help your marriage, even if you don't come for therapy.
Just a few words about how and why this book was written.
This chapter illustrates how our own fear of shame is the greatest obstacle we have to face if we want to improve an intimate relationship.
Chapter 2 - The Structure of Vital Relationships
Love based relationships do not have as much stability or resilience as do integrity based relationships. This chapter describes the strong foundation of a relationship that can stand the test of time.
Chapter 3 - Balance and Paradox
A vital relationship needs to be dynamic and not static. Opposing needs and emotional states must be kept balanced over time. This chapter unravels the paradox.
Chapter 4 - Nurturing Healthy Attachments
Relationships must be fed. It’s not enough just to feel. This chapter explains the fundamentals about how attachment needs can be effectively met.
Chapter 5 - Love's HiddenAssassin
A very common relationship killer operates far below our awareness. It leads to the numbing loss of attraction and affection.
Chapter
6 -
The Other Usual Suspects
This chapter outlines the other most common relationship killers. (Available in the book only)
Chapter 7 - Freeing and Strengthening Your Hedonic Self
If you’re starting to numb out and lose attraction, this chapter suggests what you do to start resuscitating the part of yourself that’s going dormant. (Available in the book only)
Chapter 8 - Defending Autonomy
This chapter gives you tools to ward off covert inhibition that might otherwise strangle your affection. (Available in the book only)
Chapter 9 - Managing Conflict
This chapter describes different types of constructive and destructive conflict. Strategies are outlined for managing each. (Available in the book only)
Chapter 10 - Sharing Power and Authority
This chapter provides some useful tools for negotiating chores, structuring finances, and dealing with in-laws. (Available in the book only)
Chapter 11 - Great Sex
This chapter describes psychological elements of great sex as well as some guidelines on how to get there. (Available in the book only)
Chapter 12 - Mapping Your Strategy
This chapter
discusses how to plan for change. (Available in the book
only)
Chapter 13 - Conclusion
(Available in the book only)
Addendum: Message to a Daughter
A collection of self-help tools
I've written for couplesHere are some open forum discussions Dr. Kaye has had with people who asked questions on his internet Marriage First Aid Kit. Choose your topic of interest below:
The following are some of Dr. Kaye's other writings that you might find interesting:
Intimacy & Boundaries Series
Background - Dr. Kaye is a psychologist with a license to practice in North Carolina. He obtained his license in 1979 after receiving his masters and doctorate from the University of Illinois with a specialty in personality. He completed his internship at the Phoenix Veterans Administration Hospital in Phoenix, Arizona in 1976. From 1977 through 1983 he was the Director of Outpatient Services for Wake County Alcoholism Treatment Center. While there, he provided therapy for substance abuse patients authored and directed a federal research grant that developed the outpatient program. He also researched the effectiveness of treatment and developed the family program as a part of his research grant.
In 1984, Dr. Kaye started Cary Counseling Center which later became incorporated under the name Allied Psychological Services, PA in 1992. He has had years of experience in performing individual psychotherapy, marriage counseling, group psychotherapy and other forms of therapy. He is also a trained and certified EMDR psychotherapist, having received certification by the EMDR International Association. Dr. Kaye is currently the director of Cary and Oriental Counseling Centers.
An Invitation From Dr. Kaye:
If you want to explore the possibility of therapy with me, I usually recommend one session and then you can go home and think about it. I understand that one psychologist can't be a best fit for every person. You may want to sample a fewpsychologists before choosing. One session with me is usually enough time for me to give you feedback about a recommended direction and strategy. To schedule a meeting time, in the triangle call 919-467-1180. If you want me to see you at Oriental Counseling Center, call me at 252-249-3099.
04/27/2006