Raising self-esteem and reducing self-defeating shame (hedonic disinhibition)
Most people think that self-esteem is something that they earn in the form of
confidence. Unfortunately, this is not usually true.
Most often, self-esteem is based on unconscious schemas of felt deservingness or
un-deservingness (core shame). These schema are imprinted into our unconscious
"implicit" memory systems during our early developmental years. After these
schemas are imprinted, we cannot easily change them through prideful achievement
alone. It's like mixing gasoline and water. No matter how much gas you add,
there's always water at the bottom of the tank. Instead, a much more successful
strategy is to "condition" the brain to switch its unconscious negative schemas
to positive ones instead. To understand the usefulness
of this kind of treatment, it is important to first understand the prevalence
and subtlety of what I call hedonic inhibition. Researchers have discovered how
the brain learns to "turn off" wants and desires that are repeatedly or
painfully frustrated. This process is known as "inhibition" and is
neurologically based. When inhibition turns off positive wants and desires such
as fun, pleasure, curiosity, closeness with others, etc., we can refer to this
as "hedonic inhibition."
When hedonic inhibition occurs during childhood due to frustratingly
unresponsive parents, a person will usually develop unconscious blocks that keep
them from feeling or expressing their desires. The result is often that the
person is set up for a life of chronic anxiety or depression. When such a person
gets into a long-term relationship, they may have great difficulty either by
becoming a workaholic and/or by being unable to negotiate for what they want.
Some of these people begin to feel like a footnote on their partner's life and
express "I dont know who I am anymore!" The effects of hedonic inhibition are
subtle, varied, but powerful.
Hedonic disinhinhibition is a treatment for removing the underlying emotional
blocks to happiness in a person's unconscious. My technique is largely based on
an earlier form of treatment called DNMS (Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy).
You can read about DNMS at its creator's website:
www.dnmsinstitute.com.
Hedonic disinhibition treatment utilizes techniques based on
psychophysiology to stimulate specific brain reflexes. Various hypnotic
"processing heuristics" are used to stimulate new neural connections and to help
the client switch from negative to positive emotion. When engaged in hedonic
disinhibition treatment, the patient is guided through a combination of
memories, fantasies, and imaginary interactions with metaphorical images of
self-parts.
The results of hedonic disinhibition most often include reduced anxiety or
depression and increased energy and interests. Unlike other forms of therapy
that rely on conscious override of emotions, hedonic disinhibition results in
more natural change. My clients frequently report behaving differently without
conscious effort. They find themselves comfortably handling certain situations
without having to struggle with their previous anxiety. In other words, the
change comes about naturally once their underlying blocks are removed.
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