How I Practice Psychotherapy - Martha Slattery

           Therapeutic change is the product of  insight  plus action.   Which one needs to come first has, I’m sure, been the topic of many graduate school class discussions, however the bottom line in my mind is that  for  the best  outcome,  to varying degrees, both will occur.   My job is to guide you  through  both parts of the process using  both the science and the art of psychotherapy.

            The most important thing I can do for you when  we first meet, is to listen.   Sounds simple, doesn’t it?  But when you think about it, when was the last time anyone really listened to you?   Probably not too recently.  In our busy  lives, sadly, we rarely make time to really listen to each other  - by itself a factor contributing  to marriage and family problems.  Really listening  takes work, because it is an active process.  I’ll ask you  many questions ,  ask for clarification, and want to know how you feel as well as what you think about what you’re telling me.  Through this process - with both words and expression - you’ll tell me your  “history” as you see it, and  more indirectly tell me about  the thinking  patterns, personality  and family influences that comprise the unique person you are.   As time goes on,  you’ll find that I am quite active  in challenging  the way you look at things, and in pointing out  how your family of origin influences your perceptions . This is particularly important in marriage and family work, where generations have contributed to what each member brings to the system .  For some, this exploration can be an enjoyable part of  therapy,  for others it is more difficult.  But either way, you will gain a much more insightful  view of  “where you’ve been” and  “where you  need to go”.

           The action part is  less enjoyable for many people because it often  involves risk.  Confronting a family member,  becoming more assertive at the office,  even revealing your true feelings to a loved one may all be examples of  initiating healthy change,  and the reward from even a small change can often be very empowering!   But   because the change you  initiate in yourself  requires others to change as well,  you may need encouragement to keep it up, and  a good deal of coaching,  support and advocacy to stay focused.  As you do your part in this process,  my part is  to  integrate  years of education, experience,  and a good deal of judgment  to  create a treatment plan that will help you  bring about health and happiness for you and your relationships.