Marriage Problems and Marital Conflict can be helped and Marital Improvement fostered by the free online Marital First Aid Kit
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If you are searching for help with marriage problems, look no further. You'll find it at the The Marriage First Aid Kit. The Marriage First Aid Kit contains descriptions and explanations for the most common syndromes of marriage problems and marriage conflicts. For each problem syndrome, interventions are suggested and the reasons given for why they often work. Marriage problems and marriage conflicts do not have to wait for marriage counseling in order for you to experience a better marriage. Learn about the following syndromes: Drug Affected: Either partner is using frequent alcohol, cannabis, cocaine, or other mood altering chemical.Third Party Contamination: Either partner is keeping contact with another person with whom they have previously had a sexual/emotional bond. Threat of Physical Violence: Either partner has demonstrated through their past behavior or by verbal threat that they may physically assault or restrict movement of the other. Intentional Deception: Either party intentionally tries to lie or deceive the other in order to avoid exposing broken agreements or irresponsible behavior. Role-Bound, Emotional Starvation Syndrome: Both parties have evolved to interact with each other like business managers, going about the business of managing everyday life but without mutual play or sentimental affirmation of each other. Special time is not allocated for intimate talking. No significant effort is made to share intimate time away from parenting roles. Each party feels "taken for granted." Arguments flare up about small control issues or events that are interpreted as indicating a lack of appreciation of each other. Pursuer - Evader Syndrome: One party is more comfortable with the expression of intense feelings. The other party dreads intensity, especially heated conflict. The person who dreads intensity finds ways to emotionally withdraw by finding responsibilities to take up their time. The other person sees their partner withdrawing and reacts by aggressively pursuing contact. They often intrude by expressing their resentments in a derogatory manner. The pursuer/intruder may also openly interpret the withdrawing party’s feelings and motives. The withdrawing party reacts by withdrawing further. The pursuer feels like they are being driven "crazy." Initiator - Dependent Syndrome: One party (the initiator) has somehow wound up with all the responsibility for planning the fun part of the relationship. The dependent party may be very responsible in their job role. However, when it comes to family or relationship activity, they look to the initiator for ideas. The dependent party is "easy" and ready to agree. The initiator feels as if they have another child for a partner. They miss the excitement of another perspective besides their own and they feel lonely although they may cover it over with anger. Delinquent Helper Syndrome: One party (the "task-master") has somehow wound up with all of the responsibility for overseeing the household chores. The other party often doesn’t "help". The task-master frequently reminds the delinquent helper what needs to be done. The delinquent helper often forgets if they’re not frequently reminded. Non-productive Conflict: The couple starts a conflict over a specific issue but soon escalates to general blaming behavior. Past misdeeds are raised up in an attempt to invalidate the other. Nothing gets accomplished and the couple retreats from one another with much hostility. This syndrome does not refer to conflict which threatens violence or actually becomes violent. "Sneaky" Spending Behavior: One party is trying to reduce spending to live within a realistic budget, the other party is often unmindful of what they spend. The less mindful person may not be forthcoming about what they buy. Conflicting Levels of Sexual Interest: One party wants it more, the other party wants it less. This does not refer to syndromes in which there is emotional conflict or emotional alienation affecting sexual interest. Rather, this is merely referring to different levels of sexual drive. Non-violent Raging Behavior: In a conflict situation, one part is more likely to yell and scream before retreating in a "huff." In some couples, the rager may disapprove of their own behavior but feel helpless to prevent it. They may try to avoid conflict situations altogether. The Marriage First Aid Kit also contains articles on intimacy and boundaries as well as a question & answer forum discussing specific marriage problems brought in by visitors. You will be able to read about the various marriage problems raised by past visitors and what types of interventions were recommended. If you would like suggestions to deal with your own marriage problems or marriage conflicts, then visit the Q & A Forum listed on the kit contents page. In contrast with many publications about marriage problems, the Marriage First Aid Kit was not designed with the naive assumption that most marriage problems are merely the result of poor communication. Marriage conflicts are often the result of conflicting "ego-states", roles, shamed need states, and other dynamics that often have much to do with the personalities of the two partners. The real key to understanding marriage problems is to understand the emotions that underlie them. At The Marriage First Aid Kit, you'll discover an easy to use, information packed web site. Click here to learn more about resolving marriage problems. |
