Marriage Counseling & marriage counselors for Raleigh, Cary, Apex & Morrisville at Cary Counseling Center.  Directed by marriage counselor Dr. Bryce Kaye (Tele .919 467 1180)

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 Dr. Bryce Kaye

Author of The Marriage First Aid Kit, a book about marital healing and marriage counseling

 

 Click Here to read about the book

 

 

 

 

  

In addition to being an author and an accomplished psychologist, Dr. Kaye is a U. S. Coast guard licensed merchant marine officer.  Learn about Dr. Kaye's unique service that offers a highly personalized marriage intervention cruise.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE.

 

 

 

Dr. Kaye discusses some important truths about relationships, Part 1 of 2

 

Dr. Kaye discusses some important truths about relationships, Part 2 of 2

 

Learn how to help yourselves even if you never call me for marriage counseling!

        I've placed many tools on this website that have already helped many of the thousands of couples who've seen me for marriage counseling.  BEFORE you resort to marriage counseling, I invite you to see what you can do for yourselves by using these tools.  There's only one catch.  Even though it costs you no money, you must be willing to work methodically.  If you're willing to do the reading and do the work, I promise you that these are some of the best strategies I know for helping your marriage.

How to use this site

  1. Please save this page under "favorites."  You can help us to keep this free service for others by reducing costly search engine access.
  2. Use the on-line diagnostic tools in our on-line version of The Marriage First Aid Kit.  See which syndromes apply to your marriage.  Pay particular attention to a) the Emotional Starvation Syndrome, b) the Pursuer - Evader Syndrome and c) the Delinquent Helper Syndrome.  Ask your spouse to read the same and discuss the reading to reach a consensus.
  3. Both of you need to read chapters 1 through 4 of the main book.  It's complex reading but it's the best synopsis of what really goes on in relationships.  You may want to print out these pages for easier reading.
  4. If your marriage suffers from Emotional Starvation Syndrome, then study chapter 4 in the main book and set up regular weekly "connection" times for you and your spouse.  Use the exercises in chapter 4 to re-ignite emotional intimacy.  If you have problems, then read chapters 5 and 7.
  5. If your marriage suffers from Pursuer - Evader Syndrome, then study chapter 8 diligently.  Both you and your spouse will need to practice the "When and Where Rule" and especially the micro-corrections exercise.  The latter exercise has restored passion in many relationships by removing covert inhibition.  However, the process requires about 6 weeks of diligent practice.
  6. If your marriage suffers from Delinquent Helper Syndrome, then read chapter 10 and go through the procedure for re-negotiating "ownership" of responsibilities to replace "helpership."
  7. Read the rest of the main book if you desire.  You can also read the on-line advice given to others about other types of marriage problems.

  

 

 

 

 

 

Chapters from the book The Marriage First Aid Kit

Preface - Just a few words about how and why I wrote this book.

Chapter 1 - The Great "No No" - This chapter illustrates how our own fear of shame is the greatest obstacle we have to face if we want to improve an intimate relationship.

Chapter 2 - The Structure of Vital Relationships - Love based relationships do not have as much stability or resilience as do integrity based relationships.   This chapter describes the strong foundation of a relationship that can stand the test of time. 

Chapter 3 - Balance and Paradox - A vital relationship needs to be dynamic and not static.  Opposing needs and emotional states must be kept balanced over time.  This chapter unravels the paradox.

Chapter 4 - Nurturing Healthy Attachments - Relationships must be fed.  It’s not enough to just feel.  This chapter explains the fundamentals about how attachment needs can be effectively met.

Chapter 5 - Love's Hidden Assassin - A very common relationship killer operates far below our awareness.  It leads to the numbing loss of attraction and affection.

Chapter 6 - The Other Usual Suspects - This chapter outlines the other most common relationship killers.  

Chapter 7 - Freeing and Strengthening Your Hedonic Self - If you’re starting to numb out and lose attraction, this chapter suggests what you do to start resuscitating the part of yourself that’s going dormant.

 Chapter 8 - Defending Autonomy - This chapter gives you tools to ward off covert inhibition that might otherwise strangle your affection.

 Chapter 9 - Managing Conflict - This chapter describes different types of constructive and destructive conflict.  Strategies are outlined for managing each.   

Chapter 10 - Sharing Power and Authority - This chapter provides some useful tools for negotiating chores, structuring finances, and dealing with in-laws. 

Chapter 11 - Great Sex - This chapter describes psychological elements of great sex as well as some guidelines on how to get there. 

Chapter 12 - Mapping Your Strategy - This chapter discusses how to plan for change. 

Chapter 13 - Conclusion

Addendum: Message to a Daughter

 If You’re Interested

        If you want to explore the possibility of marriage counseling with me, I usually recommend one session and then you can go back home to think about it. One session is usually enough time for me to give you feedback about a recommended strategy for marriage counseling.  To schedule a meeting time, call me at 919-467-1180.   You can also email me as well but please be advised that emails cannot be considered strictly confidential.  My office is convenient to most parts of Raleigh, Cary, Apex and Morrisville.

 

 

 

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11/25/2009