Marriage Problems First Aid Kit

Marriage problems are targeted by solutions in this marriage first aid kit.


Marriage problems are targeted with practical solutions in the following kit.


These book chapters will give you some good ideas to help your an help your relationship even if you don’t seek counseling:


A few words about why and how this books was written.

Chapter 1 – The Great No-No

This chapter illustrates how our own fear of shame is the greatest obstacle to resolving marriage problems.

Chapter 2 – The Structure of Vital Relationships

Love based relationships do not have as much stability or resilience as do integrity based relationships. Ths chapter Solve your marriage problemswith Dr. Kaye's book The Marriage First Aid Kitdescribes the strong foundation of a relationship that can stand the test of time.

Chapter 3 – Balance and Paradox

A vital relationship needs to be dynamic and not static. Opposing needs and emotional states must be kept balanced over time. This chapter unravels the paradox.

Chapter 4 – Nurturing Healthy Attachment

Relationships must be fed. It’s not enough to just feel. This chapter explains the fundamentals about how attachment needs can be effectively met.                                              (Purchase the book here)

Chapter 5 – Love’s Hidden Assassin

A very common relationship killer operates far below our awareness. It leads to the numbing loss of affection that accompanies many marriage problems.

Chapter 6 – The Other Usual Suspects

This chapter outlines the other most common relationship killers.

Chapter 7 – Freeing and Strengthening Your Hedonic Self

If you’re starting to numb out and lose attraction, this chapter suggests what you do to start resuscitating the part of yourself that’s going dormant.

Chapter 8 – Defending Autonomy

This chapter gives you tools to ward off sublte inhibition that can strangle your affection and cause marriage problems.

Chapter 9 – Managing Conflict

This chapter describes various forms of constructive and destructive conflict. Tools for appropriate management are provided.

Chapter 10 – Sharing Power and Responsibility

This chapter contains helpful tools for negotiating chores, structuring finances, and dealing with in-laws.

Chapter 11 – Great Sex

This chapter describes elements that foster great sex as well as some guidelines on how to get there.

Chapter 12 – Mapping Your Strategy

This chapter discusses planning for change.

Chapter 13 – Conclusion

Addendum: Message to a Daughter



Read about the core principles that protect and promote a healthy relationship in Dr. Kaye’s article “Meaning Matters.”


Print out these instructions for an extensive self-training program that you can do at home.  The exercises will train your brain to be less vulnerable when facing conflict and disapproval.


Here is some of Dr. Kaye’s advice to visitors who have asked about various marriage problems.  Click on the topic below that corresponds to your interest:


Addictions or compulsions


Children affecting relationship


Emotional avoidance

Grief or depression



Jealousy or privacy issues

Lies or deceit


Not in love

Rejection or separation

Sexual interest

Unproductive arguing